the "secret" that no one can believe..

I used to be shy.

No one believes me when I tell them that I wasn't always "like this". I wasn't always talkative. Or outgoing. Or easy-going. None of the above. Really. I just started really being an outgoing person this past year. In 2011, I'd say in December...And, really I don't know the cause of my "breaking out of my shell". I think it was watching my friend Rachel being so so outgoing! I always wanted to be like her. I yearned to be outgoing, and for people to tell me I was. It was a big deal to me. And sure, I had friends before, but not like I do now. In my younger years, I was shy, and awkward.. finding my "thing"{which i've now found i photography.}having growth spurts, and desperately trying to find a pair of shoes that would fit. :P 

Last year, is when it really started. I can't even remember how I became more talkative.. I just started reaching out to new people at church, CYT, and blogs.. Even if it didn't seem like we'd make good friends, I did it anyway. :) and some of the people, I really wanted to be friends with.. so I walked up to them :) soon it became, that I would go up to strangers at CYT plays, and church youth group, and just start talking to them, getting to know them, introducing them to my other friends, etc..  and boy did that do me some good. :) to prove to you.. here are the people that I walked up to and introduced myself to....

genesy.<33 she walked into my church's high school group, and I started talking rapidly, and hugging her, and most likely, freaking her out ;P but were like sisterrs now. :)

ashley. <3 she was a newbie at church 4 weeks ago. I walked up to her, told her my name, and by the end of the night we were sisters. :) we exchanged phone numbers, and awkwardly hugged ;) haha.

emily. same story as ashley. ^ walked up to her, got her email, and became good friends. <3

kirsten. :) we were actually introduced, but everytime I saw her, I tried to talk with her more and more, and now? were sooo soo close!! always texting!! ;)

elisa. she was a new leader at church, I talked with her, we ended up going shopping twice, and eating out. big sister now. <3

delise. :) shes like my #1 big sister of all. the first one ever. <3 she was an assistant in my CYT class, and I cant exactly say I walked up to her FIRST, but I did try and text, write her letters, and email her so we could talk more!! :) and now.. well the first sentence explains it.

and memory. :) we didnt actually WALK UP to each other, but I found her blog, emailed her, and somehow we became blog buddies. lol(: I dont even remember *sniffle*. but now were really good friends!! <3 wouldnt you say mem?

I look back at my younger years, compared to now, and there's no comparison. I'm more honest, talkative, and happy. :) I would always say I had "best friends" just to try and make myself feel better, when really we were just friends. I wanted a bestfriend, and so I would try and make myself believe  that we were. I would text them 24/7, email them constantly just telling them how grateful I was that they were my "bestfriend".. and that was my way of dealing with it. It's not something I'm proud of today. :P

{little side note : to have people tell me now adays that im outgoing, its like another healing on my heart, silly as it may sound, it means something to me.. even blogging friends who have never even "met" me.. telling me that I am.. telling me that they can see it through my blog means to so much to me.. <3} 

but thats where God stepped in. this past year, He really helped me to be what I always wanted to be. Outgoing. And I didnt realize it at the time.. after the failures with "bestfriends", I gave up. For awhile. I figured I'd always have just friends.. and nothing more. But, then back in last May, Brianna introduced me to her friend.. a girl named Debbie. :) we talked, went to Kings Dominion together, and the rest is history.. ;) <3 she became my FIRST real, and true, BESTfriend. :') all those other girls that I had claimed were my bestfriend were really not at all. And I can say today, that I only have ONE bestfriend. Honestly. 

she is the one person I can trust with anything. <3 who I could talk to for hours, and never get bored. she's my light in the darkness, the peanut butter to my jelly, and the green egg to my ham ;) :) <3 do you have someone like that? are you outgoing or shy? and any experiences you want to share?? i'd love to hear :) I hope that if you dont have one now, that someday youll be blessed like I have. <3 

<3 I love her...so much!!

oh hey, eve's having a giveaway you dont wanna miss!!